What do godparents do? The Auntie chronicles

If you’ve been asked to become a godparent to a child, you might have felt pleased and honoured. Your next thought might have been, “What exactly does that mean?” It was mine when I was asked to be the godparent of my eldest niece. I promise to raise her in the Catholic church and laughed as she made faces at me over her father’s shoulder. (She was a baby and not impressed with the ceremony. In fact, I’m pretty sure she gave everyone cut eye.)

“That issue is constantly being debated now,” says DanielBrereton, an Anglican priest in Toronto. While the role of godparents is still to help children in their spiritual journey, the role seems to be changing and religion may not be as important.

Interpretations differ. Patti Vickers Bond is a godmother. She says, “I am not religious. I think it’s more has to do with shared values than religion.” Jo Pavlov was asked to be a godmother when she was 13. “I was very religious at the time. I’m now 43 and my godson is 30. I haven’t seen him since he was about five. I am now a staunch atheist and anti-theist. I guess I think if you value a religious rite, you should have other religious people take part. I wouldn’t do it now.”

Brenda Shaw wondered if being a god parent also meant legal obligations. “Is there a legal procedure for saying, ‘This person is the official guardian of my child if I die or otherwise can’t fulfill parenting duties?’”

The answer to that is no. Being asked to be a godparent doesn’t automatically mean you have a legal obligation to be the guardian of the child. That usually involves lawyers and you signing many, many documents.

So what does being a godparent mean these days?

“We ask ourselves the same thing too,” says Brereton. “I think there’s an understanding in the church of the role of godparenting and the way the role plays out in families and baptisms is a bit different.”

Brereton has had to ask potential godparents about their faith in the last few years thanks to the diverse religions in Toronto. He says that while some people see the selection of godparents as a way to honour the chosen person, godparents have a spiritual mentor role. “The church has an expectation of what the godparent will be and we [the church] have done a very poor job communicating that.”

Still,Brereton would prefer to have a god parent who is interested in helping guide their godchild. “I think when it comes down to it, if you’re going to separate religion and spirituality, I’d rather people be spiritual than religious.” He explains, “You can be religious in the sense of maintaining the traditions, showing up on Sunday and following the rituals and it’s not making any difference in the kind of person you are. You come to the service but then you go out to be the church.” For Brereton, living that belief would be beneficial to godparents and children.

“It’s about becoming a certain kind of person that can influence the world in a positive way and if godparents can be part of that, great.” He also says that it’s a reminder to the child that they are part of a bigger family.

I’ll be honest, I’m not a church goer (I have issues with the church as an institution) but I like to think I’m helping my niece grow into a person who will positively influence the world.